yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
