Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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