Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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