is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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