elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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