I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
