Please, let me fuck your mom
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
