dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
