If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
