He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
