fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
