I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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