He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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