it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
