i just wanna soil my oats bro
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
