I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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