Having a random hookup so left but love u
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
