And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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