Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it was like eating out sand paper
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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