I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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