Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
