dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
