Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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