There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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