I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
