dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
