I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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