You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
