the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
