Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
