i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Moan for me like Helen Keller
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
