dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
