Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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