Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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