I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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