I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
