I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
