Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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