Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
