Don't make out with my wife yet
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
