Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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