Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
