Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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