I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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