I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
