I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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