She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
