and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
