she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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