He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
