His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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