How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you told grandpa to call you daddy
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
